


An Island of You and Me, and Me, and Me...

by JadeDraggy2017



Category: Persona 5
Genre: Actual Murder, Arsene!Akira - Freeform, Bad end, Blood, Drowning, Drowning imagry, Gun Violence, Holy Imagery, Hurt/No Comfort, Implied/Referenced Dubious Consent, Implied/Referenced Murder, Implied/Referenced Suicide, M/M, Obession, Satanael!Akira, Suicide, Violence, controlling and manipulative relationships, dead bodies, implied persona fucking, lots of dead body imagery, lots of death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-04-19
Packaged: 2020-01-16 10:49:22
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 13,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18519922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JadeDraggy2017/pseuds/JadeDraggy2017
Summary: All things come to an end, and the world moves forward for the better, and hopefully not the worse... That's the natural order of things, isn't it?That's what Akechi Goro believes.





	An Island of You and Me, and Me, and Me...

**Author's Note:**

  * For [SoyCaptain](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoyCaptain/gifts).



> Well boys and girls it's THAT time again. For Jade to upload a long ass one shot with tags that make you go ‘do I really want to read this right now?’. And the Answer is no. No you DO NOT. But you’re going to anyway. So let’s start off with a few things:  
> 1.) PLZ LOOK AT THE TAGS. My one shots tend to be full of some dank, dark shit. And this is no exception!  
> 2.) This fic was written for [Soy!](https://archiveofourown.org/users/SoyCaptain/pseuds/SoyCaptain) As part of the Shuake Hell Discord Anniversary exchange! I hope that they enjoy it!  
> 3.) Plz check the end of the story for my usual bought of notes on all the trippy shit!
> 
> Follow me for insanity:  
> [tumblr](https://adraggynamedjade.tumblr.com/)  
> [@draggynamed](https://twitter.com/draggynamed)

Water and salt.

 

It splashed against the crackled black steel, his skin, and seeped into his helm. It steadily soaked his skin tight outfit, diluting the blood stains, and made the fabric cling to his body even more.

Salt and blood.

The water reached his mouth and the terrible taste caused him to gag, and cough and eventually awaken.

Akechi Goro sat up and gasped. His head was pounding, his body was cold, his limbs were shaking. And the room he was in was slowly filling with sea water.

“What happened…?” His raspy voice clawed its way out of his throat. “What…happened?”

Goro tried to turn his body, and every one of his bones ached. He’d been curled up on the cold metal floor for days now with the flood gate at his back, the steel grates pressed into his skin, and his wounds from his last battle slowly bruising and festering over his body.

“Have I not died?” Goro coughed and clutched at his throat. It was strange to hear himself talk. As if he had never heard his own voice before. His mind was wracked with questions, but there were no answers. Just his thoughts of shooting down his doppelganger and then darkness. And now water. Tons and tons of salt water.

“The cruiser is sinking…” He managed to push himself back against the metal door. “Then, the Thieves have won?” Goro sighed.

The Thieves had won. They had gotten away. He’d made the right decision.

For once.

Goro felt his body shudder from the cold and pain. He reflexively reached up and clutched at his side.

“For once, I did something good.” He chuckled and glanced around the sealed-off room. The water was steadily rising, making its way up to his waist. “For once, my actions had a meaning greater than myself… Shido will crumble. He’ll never reach his dreams… And I…”

Goro looked down at the water now lapping up at his hand.

He would die.

That was fine. He tilted his head back and absently wondered if this counted as a suicide. If it did, it was ironic he should depart the same way as his mother. Taking his own life, alone and unloved. Maybe that was the completion of his curse.

Spells like that are meant to have bad endings, aren’t they?

Goro closed his eyes again as he felt the water flooding up to his chest. He could feel the ship now turning on an odd slant. He’d go down with the ship of Shido’s sins. The thought amused him. He even took some solace in it.

However, the ship did not take comfort in having him within its bowels.

Goro’s eyes snapped open when he felt the entire cruiser rock with an explosion. He was tossed from the wall down into the water as the boat started to violently shake. He could barely pick his head up above the rising water to see it was now rushing in at a faster rate. The blast had blown open a hole in the stern.

Goro gasped and foolishly tried to stand. He knew he was going to die, but his instinct was to run, was to rise above the water.

The claws of his gloves scratched at the metal door and his body struggled to get up to a kneeling position. He barely found his footing when the boat shook again and he fell into the rushing water.

Once he was submerged there was no getting back up. The water flooding in hit the door and rushed back creating a current that dragged him along. All Goro could do was flail his arms and kick his legs as he was the mercy of this cognitive ocean. The rushing water dragged him down across the floor and over towards the gaping hole in the wall.

Another shake from a second blast and a tilt in the boat’s axis twisted the current around and pushed him upward. For a moment his head burst out above the water that now filled half the engine room. He tried to swim in any direction, toward any solid object he could grab, but he lacked the strength to fight the water’s tow.

Salt and sea foam crashed against his helmet and filled his vision.

The water kept rising taking him up with it until there was barely any space between the water and the ceiling.

He wanted to die, but he didn’t think it would take this long. That it would be this agonizing. Why couldn’t his father’s Palace just neatly implode and take him with it? Why did it have to prolong his suffering?

Goro reached up and placed his hands on the ceiling. In a few seconds there would be no more air to breathe. He took one last gasp of breath before letting his head go under. Once he was submerged, again the currents started to pull him. The way the boat had rolled over onto its side the, the tow was whipping in and back out the hole hull. Anything not nailed down was swirled around in a vortex of salt, and darkness, and water, including himself.

His body churned in the water and his lungs started to burn. Why was he even fighting the urge to breathe? He should take a deep breath and embrace it, just let it come.

His hand clutched at his throat as he made the decision.

Just drown.

His hand squeezed down on his neck, the claws on the ends of his glove pricking into his skin.

Just drown.

He stabbed at his own throat waiting to die.

Just!

Goro finally opened his mouth and let in the darkness and the water and the salt and the blood.

Drown.

 

 

 

Sunlight doesn’t exist in hell.

That was Goro’s first thought as he realized his brain was still functioning. Still providing him with thoughts and information.

Right now it was telling him that his body was hot from laying out in the sun and that if he didn’t move soon he’d be baked alive.

So, he was in fact ‘alive’. Or at least in a state that could be considered as much.

Thinking beyond the feeling of sunlight burning into his back, his brain also informed him he was sore in every part of his body that could detect pain.

Lovely.

Pain clearly belonged in hell, but not sunlight. Maybe it wasn’t really the sun, but a fire?

The next thing he was aware of was the sand. The horrible gritty sand stuck to his face and molded around his body. Next the ocean; he could hear crashing waves and even the distant sound of seagulls.

Oh god.. He really was alive, wasn’t he?

Goro forced his eyes open and groaned.

“I’m not dead…Still?” He coughed and grunted as he laid in the sand. Though he couldn’t move, Goro could at least keep opening his eyes until they became adjusted to the light. Where had he washed up, and why?

Was he on a beach somewhere near Tokyo? He didn’t hear the sounds of the city…

No people, no cars, just the ocean and birds and the wind occasionally rustling through some trees.

Once his eyes were adjusted to the light he managed to glance around somewhat. But indeed, there appeared to be nothing and no one around. Part of him felt that was good, because he didn’t want to explain how he got here, when he had no idea himself. But he also knew in his injured state he needed help.

He could call out for help. But he decided against it.

Goro took a few deep breaths and rolled over onto his back. Even though he had been trying to adjust his eyes to the light, rolling over to face the sun directly blinded him for a moment. He groaned and dragged his hand across the sand to shield his face, and that’s when his brain informed him of another fact.

His Metaverse outfit was gone.

Goro pulled his hand back and looked at his regular black gloves, covered in muddy sand. As well as the sleeve of his jacket. Well, no metaverse outfit meant he had to have washed up  _ somewhere _ in the real world, right? Goro sighed and slowly used his elbows to push himself up so he could get a look around. The beach was barren; there wasn’t a sign of a single person. It didn’t even look like it was very large, he could see to both his left and his right that after a few feet it curved around and out of sight. Out before him was the ocean and… Buildings? And a half-sunken cruise liner.

Goro’s heart stopped.

Out in the ocean, out in the distance was the ruins of Shido’s Palace, just floating, trapped in water too shallow for it to completely sink. There were even still pillars of smoke rising up from it, and out beyond the sunken boat were the tilting and crumbling high rises of Tokyo.

The shock gave him just enough adrenaline to scramble up to his feet and begin wiping away the sand and hair from his face.

“That- That can’t be! That can’t be the cruise ship!” Goro stumbled forward until the ocean water crashed into his ankles. He was dumbstruck. He was clearly looking at the sunken version of his father’s Palace. But if that was the case then he wasn’t in the real world.

Goro whipped his head around to observe the beach more closely.

If he wasn’t in the real world, then where was he?!

Behind him the beach stretched up the shore to an overgrown area, filled with tropical and jungle like plants. He started towards the edge of the foliage and then turned before walking along its edges, trying to see if there was anything clearly visible like a path or a trail.

“I’m still in the Metaverse?” He muttered to himself as he occasionally looked out into the ocean. He never noticed this island from the ship’s deck before. Had it always been there? What did it represent in Shido’s psyche? Some other private paradise where he could escape his rich supporters?

Goro scoffed. “He would desire a private location just to stroke his own ego even further.”

Goro turned his attention back to the landscape as the beach curved and the boat was leaving his view. As he started down the unfamiliar stretch of sand, a sinking feeling started to settle in his gut. The land was constantly turning, rounding itself as he followed the beach. If this kept up it would circle around this secluded jungle.

That would make it an island.

His lips parted and he took a few hasty breaths as he forced himself to run.

A secluded island? But how did he get on it? And how did he get off? Was the exit linked to the now-ruined cruise ship?

Impossible!

Goro started to run faster. There had to be a way off. There had to be!

He started running so hard his feet were slipping on the sand. His regular shoes weren't made for running on this kind of terrain, but he couldn’t bring himself to stop. The more he stumbled, the faster he ran, swearing to himself as the beach curved again and still showed no signs of a break in the trees.

Was there nothing? Was there nothing here!?

Goro started panting as he saw the ship coming back into view in the water.

“No!” For some reason the sight made him run faster. “No, no, no!”

Goro lost his footing with his next panicked step and he fell, landing knees-first in the sand. “No! NO!” He covered his face and started to scream. Just scream into the open sky.

There was nothing. Just him and this island.

He kept his hands on his face as he fell back and stopped screaming.

Alone, on a deserted island in the Metaverse.

Goro was paralyzed. He had no thoughts, no will to move, no feelings. He just lay still in the sand.

Until he started to laugh. And then he started to cry. How did it come to this? He was supposed to die on that ship. And he didn’t. Was this some cruel punishment? That he would never be able to achieve what he desired? Acceptance? Love? Revenge? Death?

They would always be beyond his reach.

“Well, this is a fine mess…” Goro removed his hands from his face and stared up at the clear blue sky. “Stranded in the metaverse. On an island. By myself… I wonder how long it’ll be before I starve to death?”

Goro sighed. He pushed himself to sit up and looked out at the sunken cruise liner. Part of him wondered if he could swim to it, if maybe he could get to the part of the deck that was sticking out of the water, he could exit from there?

But that would require swimming there.

He certainly couldn’t pull that off… But maybe a raft? He turned his head to look back at the jungle. He could build a raft, perhaps? But he had no tools. Goro looked down at his hands; for some reason his weapons were gone. Even though within Shido’s ship he was considered a foe, on this island he was accepted. All he had on his person was his regular gun, and that was hardly suited for cutting down trees.   
  
At least if he had access to his persona, or one of his swords, he could consider making a raft or a small float from the trees.

He got up from the sand and approached the edge of the tree line. The forest had no path through it, at least none that he could see, but the underbrush was thin enough that he could explore the interior of the island.

He might not have had his swords, or his persona, but maybe he could find a decent rock and start hacking away at a tree.

“Gods, this will take forever, won’t it? It might be easier to just starve to death…”

Goro started to comb the island, picking up rocks and testing them against the bark of the trees. As he explored he began questioning if he could make a stone axe. Did he even know how to do that? Did he even have time? If this island was an extension of Shido, why did it not collapse with the boat?

Was it some twisted sign that he still thought himself untouchable?

Did that mean the Thieves had failed?

Exasperated, Goro leaned against a tree and cursed. How could life do this to him? How could Akira fail after he gave up his life for him to succeed? After he interfered in all his plans? All his calculations? His entire life and heart upended by one glasses wearing, discarded piece of filth, and he still failed!?

“Why did I even bother?!” Goro turned and hurled the current rock he was holding. It sailed through the threes and struck something with a loud crash. Goro leaned around the trees, curious as to what had happened. It sounded like the rock struck something solid, something that made it split.

He walked forward, pushing past the next few trees to find a large mound rising up out of the middle of the island. It didn’t go up much higher than the trees, making it hardly visible form the beach, but all around its sides were stone pillars, eight in total. One of which the rock had smashed into. He ran his hand over the pillars as he circled the mound. This didn’t fit in with Shido’s aesthetic. He found himself walking around the raised structure until he happened upon a large stone double door. On it there was an engraving.

‘La Justice’.

On the two doors a  golden scale was painted, split by the seam in the doors. On the right side, there was a scale raised up, holding the silhouette of a demon with six wings and a XXI on it's chest, holding a knife and a golden cup, surrounded by laurel wreaths and stars. It looked as if tears had been etched under the demon’s closed eyes.

The demon’s scale was outweighed by the one on the left. A scale holding a heart stabbed through with nine swords. Its wounds dripping blood into and over flowing from the scale. Painted on the heart was a ‘0’.

Goro tapped his chin, eyeing the image.

“This is not something Shido would have… Not even close. Is this really still connected to his Palace?”

With no place else to go, Goro placed his hands on the doors and pushed. He felt the door slowly open to reveal a brightly lit hallway with red velvet carpeting. He paused; the hallway before him extended much further than the mound, at a slant, and had several doors.

“This is a Palace…” A chill ran up his spine. “A Palace I ‘washed up’ onto from Shido’s ship? Why? How?” He folded his arms. This was a new experience; he’d never encountered this before. Somehow he’d found a Palace without knowing the owner or its location or purpose. Did this have to do with the fact that he was in Shido’s Palace once it was destroyed?

Clearly, with the cruiser off in the distance, the two were connected. That meant that once he entered the Palace proper he’d be considered a foe.

“Well, I would at least have my skills and weapons back…But am I in any real state to deal with a new Palace?”

Goro tilted his head down and weighed his options. He knew there was nothing on the outside of the island to help him escape. But he had no idea what to expect within the Palace walls. However, he might be able to find an alternative exit…

“Okay, even weak and tired, I can handle a Palace and few upstart shadows.”

Goro walked inside, stepping past the stone doors. However, even once he entered, his appearance did not change. A fact that bothered him. Perhaps he’d have to make himself known first? Sometimes Palace owners were complacent until they were made aware he held all the power.

“That just means I need to find a Shadow and start making some noise…” Goro paused and looked at the doors in the hallway. There were eight in total, just like the pillars outside. He approached the first one and ran his hand over the doors; just like the front doors they were made of stone, but had I through VIII carved on them.

Figuring he would find the weakest and easiest Shadows to deal with behind the first door, Goro pushed it open. Beyond the stone door he found a dimly lit room in which he could hear someone softly crying. Was the Palace owner in here? Or was it just a cognition?

He hesitated before entering, patting down his jacket pockets until he felt his gun. A smile crept onto Goro’s lips as he found the hilt. Alright, it was time to put this Palace owner in their place and find a way off this island.

He walked into the darkened room, the heels of his shoes now making a soft clack against the floor as it transitioned from carpet to tile. He couldn’t see who was crying, but he could vaguely make out a few rows of chairs before, and some slumped over bodies. All of which were still. In front of the rows of chairs were large spotlights on stands, but most were off, or broken. Only one remained on, dimly flickering and tilted downward, illuminating part of a stage.

In the flickering light Goro could see cables on the floor, and the bottom of a gaudy stage set. It looked familiar, too much so in fact. He crept around the rows of chairs, keeping to the shadows, but trying to scan the room to see where the person crying was.

Whomever it was, Shadow or Cognition, they were too wrapped up in their sorrows to notice him sneaking about the room.

He managed to make his way up closer to the edge of the light and get a really good look at the stage at the front of the room now. It was familiar, because it was the TV set he’d been on before. He recognized the guest couch, and the host seats, the large flashy background, all of it. He knew all of it.

“What… Why is this here?” Stunned, Goro threw caution to the wind and stepped forward into the light so he could tilt the spotlight up and scan the room. The moment he moved from the shadows the crying stopped with startled gasp.

“G-Goro!?”

He froze. Whatever was in the room with him recognized him. And he recognized that voice. A figure stood up in the shadows back in the third row of seats and Goro grabbed the flickering spot light to turn it around and inspect the room.

As the light spun around his heart froze.

The figure standing in the middle of the audience was Akira, dressed in his school uniform. He was unfazed by having the light spun and glaring into his face. Unfazed by the dead audience around him. Every body slumped in its chair, still and lifeless. Everybody exactly the same.

Goro’s body.

But the Akira in the audience just looked at him in awe, a bright smile spreading across his face and his eyes lit up. His golden eyes…

“A Shadow… Of Akira!?”

“Goro!” The Shadow started to push its way through the aisle of bodies toward him. “It’s you! It's really you! You’re alive!”

Goro let go of the light and backed up. He didn’t know what to do. He hadn’t been expecting this. Whatever this was. Whatever this horrifying sight was. Why was there a Shadow of Akira in this Palace? Why was it surrounded by seats filled with his dead image!?

The Shadow made it to the end of the aisle and held open his arms as he started to run to him. “Goro! You made it! You finally made it!”

“Stop!” Goro backed up and drew his gun. He pointed it at Akira, “Stop! Stop! Stay back!”

Akira stopped and looked down at the gun. He smiled, almost fondly, “Is that how you did it?” Goro watched as the Shadow Akira reached out to gently put his palm on the gun, “Did you have to successfully kill me this time? Though I know I’ve let that happen before… So I wonder what changed the outcome?”

“What are you talking about?!” Goro backed up, disturbed by how unresponsive the Shadow was to his threat. “What is this?! Explain yourself!”

“This…” Akira motioned around, “Oh, don’t mind this, it’s nothing. It’s a failure. So many failures… All that matters, is that this time you survived!” The Shadow took a step forward, “So this time, I’ve done it right!” He opened his arms and reached for Goro. “This time, this time I have you—”

He fired. Goro pulled the trigger and let a shot graze the Shadow on his right arm. Akira hesitated for a moment and slowly reached up to the wound. “Goro, you shot me…” Akira looked back to him and smiled. “It's been so long since I’ve felt this kind of pain. It’s refreshing.”

“What the hell!?” Goro took another step back. Akira wasn’t upset. He was happy!? Goro glanced down at his clothes, the shot hadn’t designated him as an enemy.

“Come here, Goro! I just want to hug you, then you can shoot me as many times as you like—”

“Freak! Get away from me!” Goro fired again, yet he still didn’t shoot to kill, just to warn the Shadow off. As freaked out as he was, he knew he couldn’t kill it. Killing the Shadow would kill the real Akira. But why was it here to being with? Was this Akira’s Palace? How was that even possible?

After the shot Goro ducked to the side and raced around the Shadow. Akira was stunned as he ran off, but quickly started to pursue him.

“Goro! Goro, come back!”

Goro didn’t stop running, he raced through the door that led to the set and turned around to grab the ends and start pulling it shut. On the other side the Shadow Akira started to grab at his hands trying to pull him back in.

“Goro! Goro, please! Don’t run away! It’s not safe for you out there! You need me!”

“Fuck off! I don’t need you! I never needed you!” He managed to smack Aira off of him, causing him to stumble back and allowing Goro to close the door. After it shut he could hear the Shadow banging on the other side and calling his name.

“What the hell is this?” Goro shook his head and backed up. That Shadow was nothing like the Akira he knew… So frantic, and unphased by violence. He shuddered. Whatever this Palace was he wanted out. He’d find some other way off the island!

However as Goro turned and started back toward the entrance he found the large stone doors had shut behind him. Goro put his hands on the doors and tried to pry them open, but had no such luck. Back down the hall he could hear the Shadow Akira banging even louder on the door.

“He’s going to get out of there… I have to hide until he calms down then try to get out!” Goro backed up and quickly scanned the hallway doors. He settled on the door marked IV and ran towards it. Goro pushed open the door and started to rush inside, yet once again he found himself frozen in his tracks.

Past the door was an exact replica of Leblanc. He was even sitting at his usual spot. Dead. And in the booth where he played chess with Akira he was slumped over, the white king fallen on its side while the black one left standing. He was sitting in the other booth too, head rolled back, eyes open, mouth agape.

“Goro?”

At the sound of Akira’s voice his blood froze. Goro’s head slowly turned from the booth to the counter. His eyes met with another Shadow of Akira, this one wearing his Leblanc uniform.

“Goro…” His reaction was at least a bit more subdued. “You’re here? You finally made it home?”

Goro shook his head and started to back up, only to collide with another body. Before he could turn around, arms wrapped around him, enclosing him in a tight hug.

“Goro! I caught up to you before you could be killed! Thank goodness!” The Akira from the television station had gotten out of his room. In his shock Goro hadn’t even noticed the banging on the door had stopped. He started to struggle, trying to break free.

“Let me go! Let go of me!” He started kicking his feet as the Akira from Leblanc started to come around the counter. If he was trapped between two of them there was no way he’d make it out without having to kill one.

“Goro, please… Calm down, why don’t you come inside and have a drink?”

“I don’t want a drink! I want you to let me go! I want out of this nightmare!” He started to kick his feet out trying to keep the second Shadow away. All his kicking was at least making it harder for the first Akira to keep him in place.

“Goro! I’m just trying to protect you—”

“Protect me! This place is filled with my corpse! This is madness!”  
  
“Oh, right.” The other Akira looked down at one of the Goros in the booth. “Don’t mind those. The failures don’t matter… All that matters is that you’re here, alive, this time.”

“This time?!?” Goro finally managed to swing his legs so violently he knocked the Akira holding him off balance. They both toppled over onto the floor and Goro immediately rolled off him to scramble to his feet.

“Goro!” one Akira shouted after him.

“Goro, please!!” the second one called.

He started to run, but honestly where could he go? He’d tried two doors now and both had things behind them he never wanted to encounter. As he darted down the hall, the other doors started opening. In response to the shouts of the other two Shadows, more started to peek out of their rooms.

“Goro…?”

“He’s here?”

“Did another one die?”

“No, no! It is! Goro! It’s you!”

Goro found himself running to the end of the hallway and staring at the dead end. His heart was racing and his brow was covered in sweat. Behind him he could hear his name being said over and over again by a mob of Shadows that all wore Akira’s face. Their shadows were slowly growing on the wall as they crept closer in awe and relief, but his heart was filled with terror.

This wasn’t happening.

Goro put his hands over his ears and closed his eyes.

He was supposed to die!

He moved closer to the wall and started to slide down until he was crouching on the floor.

Why hadn’t he died? Why was this the result of his actions? Had trying not been enough? Or maybe this was hell?

Goro could feel hands on his back, his shoulders, in his hair.

“Stop! Stop! Leave me alone! Just go away! Just let me die!” Goro curled in tighter on himself, unwilling to let the mob of Akiras pull at him further. And much to his surprise they did stop. But not because of him.

All the hands came off of him as another Akira started to speak and the steady flapping of wings filled the room.

“Now, now! All of you back off. Can’t you see, he’s terrified. You know better than this… You know Goro is fragile.”

Goro slowly opened his eyes, but still looked at the wall. He could see the Shadows all standing still behind him as something hovered over them, casting its shadow over the group. He slowly turned around and looked up to see Akira, again. But he was clad in a red and black suit, with a red trench coat that mirrored his thief one. He had large black wings that supported him in the air, black clawed gloves, and high heeled boots with daggers for heels.

“…Arsene?” Goro muttered to himself. There was no mistaking it, it was Akira, but it was clearly Arsene. Goro looked around at the other Shadows. They seemed to give pause for his presence.

“Multiple personas… Multiple Akiras… But the first is the real Palace owner?” Goro carefully got to his feet as the rest of the Shadows backed up for Arsene to land.

“All of you, go back to your rooms.”

“But,” the Akira from the TV station started to speak, “But Goro is—”

Arsene raised his leg and held the end of his sharpened heel at the other’s throat. “You might want to see Goro, but right now he clearly wants to see no one. So, go back to your room, and wait.” The rest of the group backed up, but the TV station Akira didn’t move. “Angel… Go back to your room.”

The TV station Akira hesitated, before his eyes drifted over to Goro one last time. Finally, he took a step back before retreating and the rest followed suit. Once they were alone in the hall, Arsene turned to Goro.

“There, do you feel better now, Goro?”

“…” Goro looked him over from head to toe. Close up he could see he still wore Akira’s grey thief vest, and lacked the persona’s pervious horns. The claws he mistook for gloves were actually his hands. His expression seemed soft, aside from the smug smile he was sporting. It reminded him a lot of Joker.

“Well?”

“No.” Goro shook his head. “I do not feel better! What kind of question is that!? After what I just saw! What is this place!? How did I get here!? How did you get here, Arsene?!”

“So you recognize me? You always were clever…”

“It’s not too hard to tell what you once were,” Goro scoffed, but paused after. “What do you mean, were? Did I… Did I actually die?”

“You have died. But this time, it would seem you are alive.”

“This time…” Goro frowned. “The others were saying something similar.”

Arsene held out his hands. “There’s a lot I can explain to you, but I feel I am getting ahead of myself. You must be tired, you look a mess. Let me take you to Satanael’s chamber to rest and we will tell you everything you need to know about the Shrine.”

“Satanael? Shrine?” Goro rubbed his forehead with his palm.

“Please, don’t overwork yourself, Goro. Just let me help you. It’s all I’ve ever wanted.”

Goro looked down at the Shadow’s extended hands. A large part of him still wanted to run, but where could he run to? At least maybe if he had a moment to rest, he could think clearly. And Arsene didn’t seem as manic as the previous Akiras. Perhaps he would at least tell him how to get out of here.

Goro took the former persona’s hands, and Arsene suddenly pulled him forward with one strong yank. He pulled Goro off balance and into his arms before sweeping him off his feet.

“H-hey! What are you doing!?” Goro tried to push himself free, but Arsene hung on.

“Just hang on, Goro! Our destination isn’t here!” He spread his wings and pushed off the floor, carrying them both up to the ceiling of the mound. Goro struggled as Arsene turned them upside down and stood in the middle of the hallway ceiling; he looked down at the floor and bent his knees before pushing off and rushing towards the ground.

Goro let out a scream of terror and closed his eyes as he expected them to collide with the floor, but they never did. Instead Arsene kept flying, unhindered by the floor. Goro slowly opened his eyes to see they were flying ‘upward’ through the ocean. Looking down he could see a glowing hole in the floor of the shrine.

“A false floor?” He turned his head around to take in the new surroundings. He was being carried through a long-enclosed passage that cut through the cognitive sea. Under the waves the water looked like the sky, and down below he could see the sunken and ruined Tokyo; he could see several of them in fact.

Heaps and heaps of buildings stacked on top of each other. He could only perceive that this was the result of multiple versions of the city because he picked out a few repeating landmarks, he even saw multiple versions of his father’s cruise ship laying to waste on the ocean floor.

Arsene was carrying him toward an area were several Shibuyas had submerged and crumbled and stacked onto one another. The passageway connected to the large central building, sealed airtight under the water.

As they approached, a sliding door opened for them and allowed them access to another hallway with red velvet carpeting. However, since they were technically in Shibuya, this building’s interior was much more modern. Though just like the rooms in the island shrine, Goro could see his body scattered about.

He was sitting in chairs in the hallway, slumped against windows, laying on the floor.

Arsene set Goro down and offered him a flourishing bow.  
  
“Welcome, Goro. We have arrived at the heart of the Shrine of Infinite Regrets.”   
  
“This is Shibuya,” Goro stated the obvious. Deciding to focus on that instead of his corpses carelessly decorating the halls. “This is all of Tokyo, ruined.”

“That is correct.” Arsene started walking forward. “This is where Satanael was born. It’s where he prefers to be, to watch as a new city sinks each time Akira restarts the game.”

“Each time Akira restarts the game?” Goro followed him, questioning what he was hearing. “What does that mean?”

“We will explain it together. After all, Satanael is the end of my beginning. It wouldn’t be right to speak to you without him present.”

Goro felt confused, but still he followed Arsene. After all, it’s not like he had much of a choice in the matter. He still had no idea how to get out of this Palace, but at least if he had some sort of explanation, Arsene and this Satanael would more than likely help him leave. They were parts of Akira after all, and Akira was his friend…

Goro took a deep breath at the thought. Akira was his friend.

He glanced around the hallway, and at the bodies he had been ignoring. His friend, who had a Palace filled with his dead body. He looked down and put a hand over his eyes to calm himself. Maybe this actually was hell?

He turned his attention back to Arsene, opting to study the now Palace-dwelling persona. He retained much of Akira’s thief appearance, but the demonic features were a dead give away to his true nature. Goro was surprised Arsene was walking down the hall, instead of flying. He kept his long black wings folded neatly behind him, and Goro couldn’t help but wonder if he was walking as a courtesy to him.

After all, while he lacked wings, Loki hardly ever touched the ground. He could only recall his persona taking the time to stand on the ground in a few dire situations, namely during his awakening. But he never  _ walked _ . And trailing behind Arsene walking in those over the top thigh high boots and the way the daggers he used for heels pushed up backside.

“Ah,” Goro shook his head.

‘This is still Arsene. Even if it looks like Akira… it’s still Arsene.’ He swallowed and lifted his head higher to look past the persona. Focusing on him wasn’t going to help calm him down either, apparently.

They traveled the hallways, taking staircases up and up until they were at the top floor of the building. In this hall there were very few of his body laying about, but there were two more Akira’s present, one to his right outside a metal door marked ‘IX’. And one to his left pulling down steel shutter with a large ‘X’ painted over it.

Like Arsene, however, their appearance was spliced with their true persona form.

The one to his right was standing with his arms crossed and head down. His stance suggested he was melancholic. He was dressed in wine red armor, of all things, and like Arsene had a pair of wings, those his were white. As they drew closer Goro could see blood running down the front of his face and dripping freely onto the floor.

To his left, the one pulling down the shutter had his back to them, but his appearance caught Goro’s attention. His wings were reflective and made entirely of metal. It actually seemed that most of his body was constructed the same way, save for the red and black robes he wore. As he turned around to face Arsene, his face revealed that even his hair was constructed of pieces of black, metallic jagged plates, leaving what skin was visible to be his only ‘human’ feature.

“Ah, Arsene,” he started to speak and Arsene came to halt just before Goro so they could listen, “It’s been a few days since the cruiser went down and no new body has appeared. Perhaps he made it out this time, but that means one could drop in here from the final con-”

The metallic angel stopped talking as his eyes drifted from Arsene, to over his shoulder, and locked eyes with Goro. His mouth hung open for a moment and instead of words a squeak came from his throat. Across the hall the other Akira lifted his head and reacted with a similar gasp.

“There will be no body dropping into your room, Metatron.” Arsene folded his arms. “For Akechi Goro is alive this time!”

“Impossible!” The Angel with the bloody face pushed off his door and rushed over to them. “How did he get here!? How did you do this?!”

He reached out for Goro, who slightly recoiled. Now that he had lifted his head, Goro could vaguely see the bullet hole hidden by his bangs from where the blood was dripping down.

“Uriel!” Arsene extended a wing to block him from grabbing Goro. The other persona stared at him angrily. “Not yet. At least clean up your appearance a bit. I am taking him to Satanael, you can wait, like the others.”

“I shouldn’t have to!”

“Why you over me?!” The Shadow Akira Arsene addressed as Metatron scoffed. “If anyone deserves to talk to him, it’s me! I am here because of him!”

“My bond is more significant!” Uriel put his hands on his chest and leaned forward. “You wouldn’t have happened if Akira did not have the resolve to keep believing in Goro!”

“More significant than me!? Is that a joke!?” Metatron took a step forward. “My bond is of the highest order! Everything about my existence is to be in unison with him!”

Goro looked back and forth between the two bickering personas. Their anger and possessiveness over who would get to see him first was alarming.

‘Is this what Akira is like? This doesn’t seem at all like the person I know…’

“Both of you stop!” Arsene pushed them apart. “Neither of you are more important than the Qliphoth World’s ruler! Lest you forget, none of you or even I would be possible without the power of the Reverse World.”

The two Angelic persona stared at him, their expressions agitated. But they took a step back so the two could pass. As Goro walked by them he tried not to look directly at either, but it was hard not to notice their pained stares.

Arsene lead Goro to the end of the top floor’s hallway. The closer they drew to the final room, the more and more the bodies started to stack up. There were so many they were just pushed aside, laying on top of each other in heaps and mounds. The sheer number of them brought the stacks up higher than Goro’s head, higher than Arsene’s.

By the time they reached the final door, the bodies cut a narrow path in the hall and they nearly reached the ceiling.

The last door was like the entrance to the Palace, despite being in a modern building, the large stone door before them had ‘IXX’ carved into it.

“One, ten, ten?” Goro shook his head. “That’s not how you would write one hundred, if that’s what Akira is going for?”

“Its twenty-one, actually,” Arsene put his hands on the door, “You must be upside down to read it correctly.”

The doors opened for the two of them, allowing Arsene to take Goro into the only room he’d seen devoid of his corpse. The room was a large circle, with blue velvet carpet and walls and drapes around the large windows. There was a piano in the corner, though no one was playing it, a couch, a table, a bed, and the entire room was illuminated by several chandeliers. It was somewhat fancier than he had been expecting. The walls were made up of floor to ceiling windows, allowing one to look out into the ocean and take in the view of the many destroyed Tokyos lying on the ocean floor.

Standing in front of the windows with their back to them was another of Akira’s personas. He stood taller than Arsene, much taller. Goro had to wager he reached a head and a half higher than Akira’s initial persona. From his back he had black wings, six of them; at their base they were feathered, but the majority of each wing’s body was like that of a bat. Four were tucked and folded neatly behind him, but two curled around his shoulders. Goro could also see from behind the start of two large gold horns coming off the sides of his head that curled down and forward, and a second set of black ones that extended back over his shoulders; finally over his head a black halo hung, slowly turning counter clockwise.

“Oh, Satanael, the most recent Goro has arrived,” Arsene spoke with a playful tone.

“None fell into my chamber.” Satanael didn’t turn around. “So then one finally appeared in Metatron’s room?”

“No.”

“No?”

“He came in through the front door.”

“…” Satanael shifted before slowly turning around.

Goro felt himself take a deep breath as Akira’s final persona turned to face them. He wasn’t sure what he had been expecting; up until this point every persona he had seen had been an angel, but this was not that. Like Arsene he had Akira’s face, with eyes burning gold, and a placid expression. His shoulders and chest were broader than Akira’s, cutting an imposing figure when coupled with his height. He wore an elegant black uniform-styled coat with a red sash draped across his chest. His pants and sleeves looked armor plated, and he wore knee-high black boots. Like Arsene, he had long black claws for hands.

“Goro?” At his name, the persona’s expression softened. He immediately started to make his way over to them.

Unlike the other personas, for this one Arsene stepped aside, and did not interfere in Satanael’s approach. Goro found himself backing up slightly. This persona towered over him, he already had to look up to Arsene, he practically had to crank his neck back to look this one in the face.

He placed his hands on Goro’s shoulders and stood in awe for a moment before pulling Goro into an embrace. Goro felt the air leave his lungs as he was lifted off the floor and squeezed in the demonic persona’s arms.

“You’re alive!” Satanael started to laugh. His wings spread out behind him and in one mighty push he elevated them upward. “You’re alive! Goro! You survived!”

Goro looked around; he couldn’t get free. Even if he did, he’d just drop to the floor, so for now he’d have to settle on letting this persona vent its joy.

“You survived, it finally worked. I knew, we knew, eventually you could be saved!” Satanael remained flying in the air, he leaned his head forward until his forehead touched Goro’s. “Akira knew he could save you.”

“Oh, Satanael,” Arsene called from the floor, “I know we are beside ourselves with joy over Goro’s survival, but he has asked for an explanation. And I think we owe it to him. He did have to walk past all the failures you refuse to keep in your room.”

Satanael did not stop flying, but the joy in his tone and expression faded as he spoke to Arsene, “I won’t keep them here. The past worlds are irrelevant. All that matters is the present effort…” He turned his gaze back to Goro, “And the fact that you are here is proof of that.”

“But how did I get here?” Goro finally spoke up. “How did you all get here?”

“Here? We arrived the same way any Shadow self manifests,” Satanael spoke, his tone still reserved as he finally let his wings slowly lower them to the ground. “Akira’s heart filled with regret in the time after he slayed the false god. It over flowed, spilled and created the waters of the Chartot Sea.”

“Those waters run deep,” Arsene waved his arms toward the windows, “Deep enough to submerge the ruined Qliphoth World.”

“And it is here in those submerged ruins that we wait, until Akira calls on us again.”

“The Chartot Sea and the Qliphoth World? And a false god?” Goro rubbed his temples. “Your explanation, quite frankly, doesn’t make any sense to me…”

“We suppose it's hard for you to understand; you do not appear to be a version of Goro that made it to the final confrontation with Yaldabaoth.” Satanael rested a hand on Goro’s shoulder before using his other to take the teenager’s chin in his grasp. “But just understand… This is not your fault. The confrontation, the battle, the regret… It is all Yaldabaoth’s fault.”

“He created the game that pit you and Akira against each other.” Arsene walked forward until he was behind Goro. He put his hands against his back and leaned forward to speak directly into his ear. “And it was because of you that Akira had the strength to destroy him.”

Goro shuddered and felt his breath hitch, there was something alarming about being held so closely between two versions of Akira. He carefully stepped to the side, brushing away the Shadows’ hands.

“So, someone  _ was  _ pulling the string behind my powers?” He could at least understand that much. “And Akira bested them.”

“Yes.” They both answered.

“Then how did I get here?”

“I imagine it was a mistake,” Arsene answered. “Every time you die, the Chartot Sea reaches out and pulls in the mistake. The one of you Akira lost. The bond between you pulls that failed attempt here and stores it. For you see, in order for Akira to keep summoning us, he does have to, in some way, disconnect from that regret.”

“So Akira doesn’t know about this Palace?” Goro questioned them. He watched at Arsene and Satanael turned to each other. The tilted their heads back and forth, and pressed their lips together in thought. They had an entire conversation in silence before Satanael spoke.

“We are certain Akira knows, though he has not been here. But he must know. For to restart the game he must drink the waters of the Chartot from the Holy Grail. It allows him to keep his awareness, so that he can plan again for the next attempt at saving you.”

“He has a Holy Grail?”

“Yaldabaoth’s true form. A Holy Grail of humanity’s desires, and wishes. It controls them, or rather, Akira controls it. And so, he controls the game.”

Goro pressed his lips together and turned away. He stopped asking questions, he didn’t want to hear any more answers. Slowly his feet carried him to the windows and he looked out at the flooded streets of Shibuya, and stacked buildings, and destroyed cars, and ruined landmarks. Akira had the power of a god. And this is what he used it for? To just keep running and remaking the world?

He put his hands on the glass.

“Why?” He asked it more to himself, but the two Shadows answered.

“He loves you.”

Goro put his head against the glass. This is love?

“You are all he thinks about.” Arsene confessed.

This isn’t love.

“You are the focus of all his efforts.”

This is obsession.

“He wants to give you everything you never had.”

He has to get of here. He has to stop this. Goro turned back from the glass, “How do I leave?”

“Soon, Akira will call on me.” Satanael motioned toward the roof. “Right here, when the False God merges Mementos and the real world. It is why I pick here to wait. When that doorway opens, you may leave with me.”

“How soon will that be?”

Arsene tapped his chin. “Christmas should be soon. Just under twenty-four hours.”

Goro pushed his hands off the glass. Much to his surprise they were shaking. He clenched them into fists and nodded. “Then I’ll wait, and when Akira summons you, I’ll leave.”

‘And then I will stop Akira.’

“Excellent!” Arsene’s wings expanded and in a flash the Shadow was up in the air, he soared over to Goro before landing before him and taking his hands. “While we wait for the summon, let us take care of you! You must be tired… Do not think we have not noticed your injuries. I can call one of the others here to heal you.”

“The others…?” Goro allowed Arsene to pull him over to the couch. “I noticed you call them different names… Angel? Uriel? Metatron? All… Heavenly creatures.”

“Yes, yes! Every persona here is tied to the Justice Arcana. The bond associated with you.” Arsene gently pushed Goro down onto the couch.

“And all of those are… Angelic?” He looked over at Satanael. “But you two aren’t.”

“I am Akira at his core.” Arsene tilted his head and flauntingly flipped his hair. “Though they call me ‘The Fool’, I assure you am anything but. I refuse to bend to the world rule, to let death claim those that I love and to fight back even at the cost my soul.”

“And the world apparently…” Goro muttered. He sighed and leaned back. “I remember you, Arsene. You defeated Loki. You’re very strong. But I do not know Satanael.”

Arsene moved to sit down next to Goro as Satanael approached him.

“I am also not of the Justice Arcana. But I am here because of you. Because in his darkest moment, when all was to be destroyed, it was your call to fight that reawakened the same fires that sparked Arsene, and made him into something greater. I am known as The World. But I do not live to serve it or submit to the rule of anyone. Rather I will make the world bend to me, and admit its wrong-doings and force it to face justice.”

Goro looked back and forth at the two Shadows. Where Akira started and where he ended. And he was stuck in between them, at the bottom of an ocean of ruined worlds. He lowered his head. He thought when he sealed that door Akira had come to understand him. He too knew they shared a bond. But if he had known this was what his bond was making Akira into… A demon capable of justifying its own corruption for his sake, he would have never have reached out to him. Who would have thought that finally finding someone who wanted him could go so horribly wrong?

He rubbed his forehead before dragging his hand down his face. “I truly am cursed, aren’t I?”

“Cursed?” Arsene leaned in closer to Goro and took his hand to hold it between his own. Goro looked down at them, the Shadow had had his hands on him on and off since they met, and yet his claws never once dug into him. Arsene was very careful with them. “You are not cursed, Goro. Don’t tell me, this time Akira did not manage to reassure of that?”

Goro hesitated, but shook his head, “Akira was… Always kind to me.”

‘Always too kind to me.’

“He always invited me to spend time with him. To come by and see him at Leblanc. We spent days together… He always made sure he had time.”

‘I thought it was all spontaneous. That it was all just him being a friendly person… But it was calculated. Every outing? Every invite?’ Goro closed his eyes and chuckled to himself, ‘Every moment I spent with Akira was a calculated action on his part. Does he even feel anything about this any more, or is it just the drive to ‘save me’?’

Goro felt one of Arsene’s hands release his and the back of one of his claws gently traveled across his cheek.

“Of course he was kind to you. I hope it was everything you wanted.”

“It was,” Goro muttered. “And more… Akira gave me everything I wanted.”

“Did you still try to kill him?”

“Of course—!” Goro choked on the end of his sentence. “I had to! I had no choice! I thought I was losing everything in that interrogation room! In that engine room! I thought I gave my life to Akira for him to— to do something better than the both of us!” He ripped his hand away. “And you’re telling me, from the start all of this is just Akira going through the motions to try and get a better ending!?”

“Goro!” Satanael reached out and grabbed his shoulders. “That’s not it at all, can you not see this is all done out of love? Love for you? Is that not what you wanted? Your last words to Akira after the first game were to wish that you and he could have had the chance to be friends, even lovers. That is all Akira seeks. It's what your heart seeks too.”

Goro felt himself shaking. Was it what his heart sought? Or was it just what he was made to think his heart sought?

Hours ago what he sought was to die. Before that he sought revenge on his father. Months ago he just wanted to stay blissfully ignorant that Akira was the leader of the Phantom Thieves.

But was all of that what he wanted? Or was it what Akira designed?

“I—” Goro reached up and grabbed Satanael’s wrist. “I’m so tired… Of everyone else controlling my life… I just wanted to finally be at peace.”

“Goro,” the two Shadows leaned in closer to him. Satanael kept his hands on Goro’s shoulder while Arsene stroked his face. “We understand, you’ve been through so much. But it will all be over soon. Once we return you to Akira’s side, it will all be over soon. Until then let us take care of you.”

“Take care of me?”

“Yes, if only for a few hours. While you are here, let us treat you as Akira would. We are extensions of him after all.”

“And we are the two closest to his bond with you.”

Goro felt himself shake at the thought over what the two were proposing. His eyes drifted back and forth from Arsene to Satanael. They both had Akira’s kind expression, though his better features were exaggerated a bit by their demonic attributes.

“We have hours to spare.”

“And you do still need treatment.”

“But what could be better for you, than some love and care from us?”

Arsene’s hands found their way to his face and his thumbs stroked his cheeks. Satanael let go of his shoulders and was now running his hands down Goro’s chest and over his arms.

“This is what you want, isn’t it? To be one with Akira’s heart?”

Goro felt his tongue stick to his mouth. Was he even allowed to say no at this point? If he did what would happen? He’d already seen what Akira did to the world.

“Yes,” he nodded. “I want this.”

If only just for now. He would force himself to ignore all that was wrong, and just indulge in Akira’s feelings for him, and his for Akira one last time.

 

So much water, and so much salt.

Goro pressed his forehead to one of the windows of Satanael’s room. There were so many Tokyos out there in the Chartot Sea. He wondered if, when Akira tossed away a previous world, if the people went with it. If out there among the ruins there were piles of bodies, just like the piles of his corpse that littered this so-called shrine.

A shrine to what? All the Shadows here referred to the past attempts as ‘failures’. But they were still dragged into Akira’s heart and worshiped and languished over.

Shouldn’t a shrine be sacred? This place was a cursed as he was.

‘I wonder if they cry out, when the ocean rolls in, and their world is washed away. To think Akira’s regrets are so heavy he can destroy an entire world with them again, and again, and again… He truly did become a demon.’

“Goro.”  
  
His focus shifted from the ruined cities to Satanael’s reflection walking up behind him.

“You have been at that window for an hour.” Akira’s demon persona reached around him to wrap his arms around Goro’s shoulders and rest his chin on top of his head. “You should rest. You can rejoin Arsene on the bed.”

“I don’t want to rest,” he responded bitterly. “I want to think.”

“About the old worlds out there?”

“…” Goro reached up to pry Satanael’s hands off of him. He was done letting Akira’s manifestations hang onto him. “Where is the Holy Grail? That Akira uses to restart the game. I never noticed any unusual items in his possession. And I spent plenty of nights in Leblanc.”

“The Grail? I suppose to those not looking for it, it looks like nothing. But if you know it, then you can see its true form.”

“So Akira is hiding it?”

“He keeps it sealed within his most precious possession.”

Goro’s eyes narrowed. Akira’s most precious possession? He’d have to find it and steal it. He wagered that was the only way to prevent Akira from arbitrarily destroying the world again.

Behind them on the bed Arsene suddenly sat up.

“It’s time!”

“Time?” Goro started to turn to face him when he felt the building shake. It felt as if an earthquake was happening, thought Satanael and Arsene were unphased. The two merely lifted off the ground and used their wings to steady themselves. As the building continued to shake, outside the water started to lower, draining away to some unknown location.

“What is this? The Sea is emptying!?”

“It must, for us to leave. Akira’s regrets are fading, as he knows he must win against the false god.”

“Akira will win,” Satanael corrected. “After all this time, he is unstoppable. His resolve and will are absolute.”

Goro clenched his jaw at the Shadow’s words.

Outside the sea continued to drain until it was lower than the windows of the room. Arsene flew over to the closest one and threw it open. Form outside the air smelled salty, stagnant and rotten.

The Shadow turned to face Goro, smiling as he spread his wings wide. “Akira will finally be at peace once he sees you.”

Goro watched as he turned in the air, his body transforming from a fusion between his master and demonic form back to his original. He ascended into the air in a pillar of light. The moment he disappeared Goro could see floating orbs falling from the heavens. Gentle lights raining down as the sky turned black.

“What’s going on?”

“Arsene is vital to my summoning,” from behind Goro felt Satanael scoop him up into his arms. He let out a startled gasp as suddenly his arm was much larger than he recalled. He leaned back into the Shadow’s chest as he soared out the window, and up into the air. Every second he rose up, his size kept growing.

Goro looked up to see Satanael’s true face, or rather the golden mask that covered it. As they rose up into the blackened sky and the lights began to gather round them Goro felt light headed. His vision was spinning. He glanced down for a moment to see how small all the ruins looked, and he could just barely see the island, floating in the air above it all. The monument of Akira’s power and the shrine of his obsession.

He put his face over his hands to stop his vision form blurring, and held his breath. but it didn’t stop his body from feeling like he was spinning. Like he was being pulled back and forth in the ocean’s current and he had no say in where it dumped his body. His hands dragged down his face and clutched at his throat.

He needed to breathe!

He didn’t know why he was holding back.

Just breathe.

He squeezed down on his throat, digging is fingers into his skin.

Everything was hazy now from the lack of air.

Just!

Goro opened his mouth and screamed and let the darkness and light into his mouth.

Breathe.

 

 

The first thing Goro’s mind had the audacity to inform him of was that he was in a very noisy location. The second thing his brain thought to bring to his attention was that his neck was in pain due to the foolish way his head was cranked back and to the side.

He could hear the sounds of the subway, and the steady foot traffic of the Tokyo underground, as well as the constant chatter and mutterings of various passersby.

Slowly he fluttered open his eyes and let them adjust to the bright lights that lit up the subway platform he was on. He was sitting, slumped back on a little bench off to the side. As he slowly sat up and rubbed the soreness out of his neck a few people turned to look at him, some of them uttering and pointing.

He was sure it was either over who he was or the fact that he was ‘sleeping’ in the subway.

Slowly he looked around and took in his surroundings.

He was back in the real world. Satanael had kept his promise and brought him back. Which meant…

“I need to find Akira!” Goro pushed himself to stand, stumbling a bit as the blood rushed form his head. He’d gotten up too fast. He held one hand out to grip the bench and took a few deep breaths before trying again. This time making his way forward and up the closest stairs out into the evening Shibuya streets.

Everything looked normal form his perspective. The night sky was over head; there were just a few flakes of snow falling as the residents rushed about to get home and spending their Christmas Eve with their loved ones. Nothing was out of place, except for the group of familiar teenagers standing around congratulating themselves.

“The Phantom Thieves.” From where he was standing Goro could see Akira and his friends gathered together celebrating their final victory. He watched them, more specifically he watched Akira. He was smiling, looking around at them all with a beaming and proud expression.

An expression he knew was being faked for their comfort.

Goro pressed his lips together and watched them for the next few minutes as the crowd parted around him, partly concealing him from their view. After they finished talking the thieves departed together and then slowly broke off into smaller groups as they made their way down to the subway.

Only Akira remained, his beaming smile now fading. Goro watched him dig into his pocket and removing something to squeeze it in his palms. He started to take a few steps forward but stopped as Sae approached from behind Akira.

For their exchange his demeanor was different. Though Goro couldn’t see his face as he turned to her, he could see from the way his shoulders straightened up and his head lifted that he was taking no joy in their conversation. And from the way he shook his head and then casually waved her off he also apparently didn’t care for what she had to say.

He could see Sae shake her head and hold up one finger before walking away.

Now he moved forward again.

He came up behind Akira as he was sighing and rubbing his forehead.

“…God tomorrow isn’t even going to happen, so what does it matter if she’s mad?”

“Akira.” Goro spoke and the other teenager’s entire body snapped up in surprise.

Akira spun around, his face filled with shock. As his eyes fell on Goro they grew wider and his jaw trembled. He clearly hadn’t been expecting this. His shock and awe were genuine. Perhaps the first unplanned emotion he’d displayed in lifetimes.

“Akira.”

“Goro…” He whispered his name before reaching forward for him. Goro could see the item clutched in his hand was none other than the chess piece he’d tossed at him after their last encounter. “Goro, you— are you? Is this real?”

Goro wanted to smack his hand away, he wanted to tell him not to touch him. Not to embrace him under false pretenses, but he did no such thing. Akira’s hands found their way to his face and his thumbs caressed over his cheeks the same way Arsene’s did.

“You’re alive!” Akira gasped, and suddenly cried. He leaned forward and let his head press against Goro’s as he started to cry. “You’re alive!? You survived!”

“Yes…” Goro closed his eyes and let Akira draw their bodies together. “I’m alive.”

 

 

Akira held onto Goro in the streets of Shibuya for what felt like forever. It was after the staring from strangers on the street finally became uncomfortable that Goro managed to get him to let go and return to Leblanc.

By the time they’d arrived Sojiro had already closed up for the evening. And with Morgana gone it was just the two of them. Goro hadn’t said much on the way over; Akira had asked how he’d survived, but the other insisted he’d explain once they were back at the coffee shop.

Akira immediately went to work behind the counter making each of them a cup of coffee while Goro sat in the booth and looked down at the chess board that they’d played so many games on.

He wondered how many games Akira had actually played on this board? How many times had he lost on purpose? Or won? Had he memorized Goro’s every move and strategy? Did he play them accordingly to what reaction he needed from Goro at that point in time in their relationship? If he needed him to feel confident? Or disappointed? What about the times he had him ‘teach’ him? All of that was faked, wasn’t it?

“Here,” Akira set a coffee mug down in front of him and slid into the booth next to him. “Your favorite.”

“Thank you.” Goro took the coffee but didn’t drink. He instead stared down into coffee thinking. He could feel Akira’s eyes on him. He wasn’t drinking either.

“So how did you get out there? Out of the cruise ship? I mean it collapsed…”

“I know. I was in it when it sank.”

“And you survived?”

Goro started to shake his head, and then sighed.

“I was pulled into another Palace.”

“Another Palace!?” Akira leaned in closer to him and Goro smirked. He really was shocked, wasn’t he. But of course he was; he’d never experienced this before. Goro reached up and chuckled into the back of his hand. Akira put a hand on his shoulder and leaned in close to him. “I’m so sorry, Goro. I just… We all just assumed you were gone. I should have come looking for you. I’m so, so sorry… How did you make it out of there before the Metaverse collapsed?”

Goro sat in silence.

“Goro?”

“…Satanael.”

“My persona?” Akira questioned him.

“Satanael and Arsene took care of me.” Akira said nothing. “They were in the Palace.  _ Your _ Palace.” Goro finally turned to look at Akira. The color had drained from his face. “You haven’t been there, but you know what I’m talking about, don’t you? The place where you cast off all your ‘failures’ from your previous ‘games’ so you can try to save me. Again. And again. And again…”

“Goro….” Akira pulled back slightly and shook his head. “You, you were there?”

“I was  _ there _ . And I saw all of them. Countless numbers of them, Akira… Countless Tokyos, countless bodies— MY BODY!” Goro raised his voice. “What!? What have you been  _ doing!?” _

Akira scooted back; he blinked a few times, dazed. “Your body is there?”

“My  _ bodies _ are there! And so are several of you! Standing around mourning and crying and wailing! And yet you keep doing it! You keep doing it again and again and again—”

“I’m trying to save you!” Akira cut him off. His initial shock was wearing off a bit as he went on the defensive. “I had to save you! It wasn’t right! It wasn’t fair! I had to do something!”

Goro shook his head, “You’ve done something alright… Your heart, your entire existence is nothing but- but a lie!”

Akira took a deep breath.

“Do you even count any more? How many times has it been? I probably walked past a hundred ‘failures’, as your personas kept calling them. How many times have you done this to me? How many times have you killed me?”

“I didn’t kill you,” Akira hissed. “It just keeps happening. Everything I tried, every path I took, you kept  _ dying _ . I just wanted you to live. So that we could be together.”

“But that’s not what  _ I  _ wanted! I gave my life so that you could make something _ better _ ! Not become everything that we both fought against!”

“What?” Akira shook his head. “I’m nothing like what we’ve fought against. I’m not like any of those adults—”

“But aren’t you?” Goro leaned back in his seat. “You have power. A power over this world that no one else has, and you’re abusing it. For your own selfish gains.”

“This isn’t selfish! It’s selfless! I was doing it for you, for our love—”

“What about your friends? What happens to them when you ‘restart’? What happens to their lives? Their problems?”

“I make sure to always help them—”

“But do you even care? Do you care about what anyone else wants? The world wanted to move forward and you dragged it back. You have a  _ Palace _ ! A shrine dedicated to your unwillingness to let me go! Maybe you used to love me… But not anymore.”

“Goro…” Akira pressed his lips together. “I still love you.” He closed his eyes. “I’ve always loved you. That’s why I knew I had to keep trying, once I found out I could… I knew… I knew…”

“You’re sick,” Goro interrupted him. But Akira didn’t raise his head. “You need to give it to me. Give me the Holy Grail.”

Akira kept his head down, but his shoulders started to shake as he cried.

“Akira.”

“Why… After I worked for so long to get you here, why are you rejecting me?”

“Because, the person you want me to love doesn’t exist. He hasn’t in god knows when… You are just playing a game, Akira, fulfilling a role you think I need. Maybe, maybe at one time our hearts were one, and I loved you. But now you are like everyone else… You are just trying to control me. You won’t even let me die, the one thing I finally got to decide for myself, and even that you refuse to let me have.”

Akira shook his head, and looked up at Goro.

“Do you really, not love me anymore?”

Goro looked down at him, at the tears streaking Akira’s face. He was smiling at him. And in spite of how disgusted he was…

“I still love you, Akira. I just wish, things had been different.”

Akira sighed, and smiled, almost relieved.

“I’m glad to hear you say that, Goro, because I feel the same way.” Goro nodded, he felt his chest twist up in knots. Akira reached out to him, offering to pull him into a hug. “I’m sorry… I promise, from this moment on, I’m moving forward. I’ll change. I’ll give up this power… Not that I need it anymore with you here.”

Goro breathed a sigh of relief. He felt his shoulders slump and leaned forward into Akira’s arms. As he did so he felt Akira’s hands run over his back and then over his sides, trying to soothe him.

“We’ll get through this together. My Palace, my… desires… I’ll change. Tomorrow is a new day.”

“Yes… It is…” Goro closed his eyes. “By the way, Akira… What did you say to Sae-san out in Shibuya?”

“Hmn? You saw that?”

“I saw her walk away from you… And you said it didn’t matter because tomorrow wasn’t coming. But now that it is… What did she want?”

“For me to turn myself into the police to testify against Shido.” Akira curled his hands around Goro’s middle and then brought them between their bodies.

“Oh… I suppose we should go together. Though I don’t know what my punishment will be for all that I’ve done…”

“I’m not too worried about it.” Akira gently kissed the side of Goro’s forehead just as he heard a faint click between him and Akira. He pulled back and looked down to see his gun in Akira’s hands. “Like I said, tomorrow isn’t going to happen.”

“A-Akira!” Goro reached down and grabbed the gun, trying to keep Akira’s hand down. “Stop!”

“This is for your own good, Goro!”

“What is wrong with you!?” Goro started screaming as Akira tried to turn the end of the gun upward.

“What is wrong with me? What’s wrong with you! You’re supposed to be in tune  _ with _ my desires!”

“Your desires—!” Goro started to lean toward Akira in the booth, trying to push him back and onto the floor. “Your desires have gone awry! Akira! Stop!”

“It’s alright! Because now I know—!” Akira’s body shifted back as he struggled to not let Goro force him out of the booth and his hands off the gun. “Now I know what to do! You’ll survive the fight! And I won’t leave you! You’ll never end up in the Chartot Sea! Everything will be fine!”

“Fuck you!” Goro took one hand off the gun and pushed against Akira’s face. “This is not fine! You cannot! Throw away! The world!”

Akira started to fall backward out of the booth, but he reached out to grab Goro’s tie as he fell. The two tumbled back onto the floor and Akira’s hands came off the weapon as he hit the ground.

Goro landed on top of him and immediately scrambled to get up.

He knelt over Akira, the gun in his hands.

“Goro…” Akira shook his head. “Just let me save you.”

Goro smiled down at Akira. He could taste salt and water on his lips as tears fell from his eyes.

He just needed to breathe.

He just wanted to drown.

“I didn’t ask for you to save me… I just wanted you, to be something better.”

Just Breathe.

Goro raised the gun at Akira’s head and pulled the trigger.

His mouth hung open as he watched the blood flood across the floor.

His tears kept falling down into his open mouth, but no air came into his lungs.

Just Drown.  
  
Goro slowly slid back, never taking his eyes off of Akira. On the floor the black chess piece had fallen out of his pocket.

Just.

Goro could hear Akira’s phone ringing. No doubt Sakura still had the place bugged. The cops would be there soon.

Breathe.

He slowly reached forward for the chess piece and turned it over in his hand.

He watched as the golden chalice filled with water, overflowing with regret. His reflection looked back at him with a shaky, twisted smile.

Just.

Its waters tasted like salt and iron. Filled with darkness, and curses and unwanted feelings.

Once it was empty he dropped the cup and raised the gun to his chin.  
  
Drown.

Goro took a deep breath.

 

 

And let all his regrets wash away this world.  
  
  
  
  
  
Symbolism!!! (I hope you like biblical shit)  
Water and Salt: References to the Great Flood, to wash away all man’s sins, and turning into pillars of salt, for looking back at the sins of Sodom and Gomorrah being destroyed.  
Qilphoth (I’m summarizing a tone here): While the Qilphoth World is the real world merged with Mementos- Qilphoth is the reverse tree, the opposite of the tree of life and the ‘shadow’ of the holy side of the world. (He you if you’re a cross over from DMC5 like me, you were loving the upside down tree that feeds on death and bears an apple of power instead of knowledge). It literally means ‘husk/shells/peels’. The ruler of the Qilphoth is Satan! Or in this case Satanael operates at the Palace Ruler.  
Reversed XXI: As stated above, Satanael, the world rules the ‘reverse’ of the real world. His tarot is oppering in reverse of its true intention, so The World number is flipped upside down.  
Chartot Sea: Chartot is a conjugation of ‘Charata’ a noun meaning remorse/regret. There’s a really good post [ here](https://gamefaqs.gamespot.com/boards/835628-persona-5/75433455) on what all of the Memento’s levels mean if you’re interested. And is where I got the idea of how to name the sea.  
The Scales of Justice: The right scale is a mimicry of The World tarot card design, but of Satanael, holding the Holy Grail, weeping. He is incapable of performing his proper functions because he is outweighed/blinded by Akira’s emotions on the left scale. The heart is marked for The Fool, Akira’s base level/emotions. Stabbed with the Nine of Swords for dark thoughts/feelings. These feelings bleed out of the heart and the blood overflows to the point that it weighs more than (covers) the world.  
Blood and Water: To ensure a successful restart of the world Akira drinks from the Holy Grail, that naturally fills with the water of his ‘regret’. Water symbolized by blood on the door of his palace. The Holy Grail is the cup from which the apostles drank Jesus blood and has a lot of myths around it, including that it can grant such things as immortality, as Jesus resurrected, his blood will resurrect others. 

**Author's Note:**

> Edit: Sorry guys I posted this right after work and forgot you! Thank yous to my guineapi- I mean betas!:  
> [Curos](https://archiveofourown.org/users/dcuros/pseuds/dcuros)!  
> [Li](https://archiveofourown.org/users/TwilightKnight17/pseuds/TwilightKnight17)!  
> [Aiden](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Musical_life/pseuds/Musical_life)!  
>   
> Okay, alright, I know, I know I know I SWEAR TO YOU I LOVE AKECHI GORO. OKAY I KNOW. Its just… I have a problem with bad things happening to fictional characters. It makes me happy okay? Also, yes, YES, I know there was a scene up there that was PRIME TIME for some content. And I’ve been MADE WELL AWARE BY OTHERS that how dare I back down when there is so little Satanael in the halls of the persona fuckers. I KNOW. Maybe next time. But not today.
> 
>  
> 
> So About the Anni Event: The themes were Anniversary/Welcome/Nostalgia. And I can already feel you all squinting going, how the fuck does this fit that? And I admit, this story from Goro’s perspective does not really follow that train of thought-- But for Akira, he’s welcoming Goro into his heart, and operating off of Nostalgia. And honestly repeating the year over and over and cherishing every important interaction of your fated loved one’s life- that’s like an anniversary right? Don’t @ me.
> 
> But we all know the real question you're asking… Does Goro restart or do they both die? What do you think?


End file.
